Today’s Morning Buzz is brought to you by Emily Colon. Emily is a former deputy city manager turned consultant with the Southern Group. Connect with Emily on LinkedIn.
- What I’m reading: How to enter the NYC Marathon Lottery (which has like a 2% success rate)
- What I’m watching: Videos about how to become a runner without dying
- What I’m drinking: Still too much coffee.
I believe deeply in servant leadership. I have tried to practice it throughout my career. And yet, if I hear someone say the words “servant leadership” out loud, I immediately cringe.
Not because the concept is wrong, but because it makes me pause. Are they actually living this, or do they just know this is the phrase you are supposed to say right now? The best servant leaders I have worked with never announced it. I experienced it in how they listened, how they made decisions, and how they used their authority.
Lately, civility feels like it is moving into that same space in local government. You hear it everywhere right now. And unless we are careful, it risks becoming just another word we say instead of something we practice.
So, let’s talk about it.
Let’s Be Clear: Civility Is Not About Being “Nice”
Civility is not politeness. It is not people pleasing. And it is definitely not avoiding hard conversations to keep the peace. Civility is choosing respect even when there is disagreement. It is being clear without being cutting. It is holding the line without humiliating someone in the process.
Being nice avoids tension. Civility manages it.
In local government, disagreement is part of the job. We disagree with community members and stakeholders who are angry, frustrated, or scared. We disagree with staff when expectations are not being met. We disagree with elected officials when priorities conflict or emotions run high.
Civility does not make those disagreements disappear. It shapes how we move through them.
Civility Shows Up Everywhere
Civility is bigger than internal culture or operational norms. It shows up everywhere our roles touch people.
It shows up in how a leader responds to a frustrated resident at the podium.
It shows up in how feedback is delivered to a struggling employee.
It shows up in how tension with elected officials is navigated behind closed doors.
It looks like listening without interrupting. Asking clarifying questions before assuming intent. Staying grounded when others escalate. Choosing words that move a conversation forward instead of scoring points.
These moments are not small. They shape how people experience leadership and, ultimately, how they experience local government itself.
Why Civility Matters Right Now
Local government is operating under real pressure. Trust feels fragile. Staff are tired. Leaders are stretched thin. Disagreement is constant and often very public. In this environment, civility becomes a leadership skill, not a personality trait.
In leadership and organizational work, this shows up again and again. Most challenges are not about technical ability or effort. They are about behavior under stress. Eye rolling in meetings. Dismissive tones. Emails written to win instead of solve. Those behaviors quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) damage culture.
Civility does the opposite. It lowers the temperature without lowering expectations. It creates space for disagreement without collateral damage. It allows organizations to work through hard issues without breaking relationships they still need. The strongest leaders I work with do not tolerate incivility. Not because they want harmony at all costs, but because they understand the price of disrespect.
Encouraging Civility Without Turning It into a Slogan
If civility is going to matter, it can’t live on a poster or in a values statement. It has to be reinforced through behavior. If civility is the new servant leadership, the playbook should feel familiar. Stop talking about it and start reinforcing it.
That means addressing incivility early instead of excusing it. It means noticing and naming when someone handles a difficult interaction well. It means paying attention not just to what gets done, but how it gets done. Most of all, it requires leaders to model it themselves. Especially when it is inconvenient. Especially when they are tired, frustrated, or under pressure.
People are always watching how leaders behave and especially in these moments. That is when civility is either real or revealed as just another buzzword you used. And like servant leadership, it works best when you never have to say it out loud.