Today’s Morning Buzz is brought to you by Chris Keefer, owner of K2 Communications of SC, LLC based in Blythewood, SC. Connect with Chris on LinkedIn and Facebook.
What I’m reading: The Alice Network by Kate Quinn (this month’s book club pick)
What I’m watching: YouTube clips of public meetings gone bad (research for this blog post!)
What I’m excited about: Downtime during the holidays
It’s the time of year when carol singers call for “peace on earth, goodwill towards men.” Yet, it seems that at least once a month, I see an online article or post about some angry outburst, shouting match, cussing, or just downright bad behavior at local government meetings. I’ve witnessed these behaviors firsthand in some local government meetings I’ve attended as a news reporter, as a local government professional, and as an engaged, involved citizen. I’m not alone—in our line of work, you have probably experienced your fair share of nastiness in these public forums, too.
If it seems that uncivil behavior is on the uptick in recent years, experts say it is—largely due to two factors. First, the prevalence and influence of social media has emboldened people to speak their mind without having to stand face to face with their target. It’s easy to say nasty things to or about someone if you don’t have to look them in the eye. Second (and you’re probably tired of this excuse by now), COVID kept us separated for so long that some people have forgotten how to practice simple social graces in their interactions with others. Personally, I think remembering The Golden Rule should come more naturally to us than remembering how to ride a bike.
COVID and social media aside, I chalk up all this incivility in public meetings to our flawed human behavior. Not all of us deal with conflict very well, and some of us have a hard time keeping our mouths shut. That’s why today there are so many books and training courses available on conflict management, active listening, and effective communications training. Dale Carnegie encouraged readers to be civil and respectful to others in his bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People. Even George Washington weighed in on the matter of civility back in 1744 with his Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, a collection of 110 rules believed to have originated from a French etiquette manual penned by Jesuits in 1595. Obviously, incivility in government has been an issue for quite some time.
So, what does it mean to be civil? Well, it’s more than the dictionary definition of being polite and courteous. I’ve seen some very pointed insults and jabs cloaked in courtesy and politeness, as when Southerners respond to a comment with, “bless your heart.” The folks at the Institute for Civility (in Government) go a little deeper, defining civility as “claiming and caring for one’s identity, needs, and beliefs without degrading someone else’s in the process.” They go on to characterize civility as “disagreeing without disrespect” and “seeking common ground as a starting point for talking about differences, understanding biases and personal preconceptions.”
The good news (so I am told) is that people can change their behaviors—even in the setting of a public meeting. It starts with setting some expectations for how people are to behave during public meetings, be they the meeting leaders (mayor, chairperson, moderator, etc.) or meeting participants. Then it’s up to all of us to hold each other accountable, especially in meetings that cover difficult or touchy topics.
Here in South Carolina where I live and work, our Municipal Association has made restoring civility in local government a top strategic priority, right up there at the top with economic development and workforce readiness. To that end, MASC regularly communicates the importance of civility and has made resources available to staff and elected officials of the state’s 271 incorporated municipalities.
As MASC Executive Director Todd Glover explains, “when behavior gets bad, it’s difficult to share ideas and we lose good government.” So, MASC intends these resources to help elected officials and staff leaders set the expectation that everyone’s behavior in meetings should be civil and respectful.
I couldn’t agree more. I’ll add that it starts with all of us in local government—and I challenge us to make a fresh start this new year by being more civil with each other. Try adopting a few of MASC’s nine Pillars of Civility:
- Be as eager to listen as to speak.
- Concentrate on what you have in common, not what separates you.
- Act as you would expect someone to act in your home.
- Make your case on merits, not on what people want to hear.
- Your time is valuable. So is everyone else’s. Respect it.
- Ask questions to learn. Answer questions with respect.
- Concentrate on facts, not theories.
- Ask, “what will persuade people in this room?” not, “what will make a great tweet?”
- Make your point about the issue, not the person.
Civility makes the difference!
