The June Confidential: An Ode to Jorts

Posted on June 3, 2015

Kent Wyatt (LinkedIn and Twitter) returns with a running blog of all things relevant and irrelevant from the month of June. ELGL is no way endorses anything Mr. Wyatt writes, thinks, or sings.

Catch up on what you missed in April and May.

June 19

Cleveland Rocks?

Not so much, at least when it comes to my opinion of Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. (Note: this may have something to do with my dog being named Michael Jordan.) I stopped watching WWE wrestling around age 12 but this video has me smiling again about wrestling. You might not want to watch at work.


One of the Best GIFs Ever

62 years of Congressional cooperation in a single gif


Daily One Liners

Why journalism is in trouble?

Who designed the disposable cup?
An ode to jorts.
16-year olds fight for their right to vote.
Your bucket list before becoming a dad.
Life after playing professional women’s soccer.
Why Starbuck’s #RaceTogether campaign failed.

June 14

Want to Buy Me a Father’s Day Gift?

Perhaps you’ll consider buying ‘Burnt Rubbèr’ cologne that smells like a racetrack.

Sunday Sermon

Remembering Dusty Rhodes, wrestling’s true blue-collar hero.


Daily One-Liners

8 CDs for a Penny – The Story Behind Columbia House Record Club
Lebron shows his bits and pieces.
Relax, it’s okay to get drunk on your porch.
There’s gluten in the water supply, oh no!
Soccer solves homelessness.
A love letter to my city.
A farewell letter to my local newspaper.

Beyond the Chokehold: The Path to Eric Garner’s Death

‘We’re not all equal when it comes to water’
Riddle me this – Do Green Spaces In Cities Help Close “Well-Being Gaps” Between Rich And Poor?

Hey Everyone….

…let’s tase the mayor. Glendale residents are not happy about the potential of losing their hockey team, so how do they respond? Break out the taser.


Sign of the Times

Guy lives next to airport. Painted this on roof to confuse passengers as they fly overhead. He lives in Milwaukee.

July 11

Daily One-Liners

Should a senior management analyst wear a body camera?
A business can thrive paying a $19 minimum wage.
A new toy for kids – a cop that racially profiles.
How does a police officer know when to use deadly force?
Down with 140 characters.
The evolution of categorizing black Americans on the census.
Not just talk – real innovative ideas in local government.
We have screwed up suburbia and this man is going to fix it.
The communal experience in neighborhoods is becoming extinct.
Portlandia is unkind to non-hipsters.
In case you were wondering, 51% of people named Riley are males.

Now Hiring

Our friends at the City of Gresham are hiring a communications manager.

Sign of the Times


June 10

Daily One-Liners

All is not well in Ferguson, MO.
Jeep Cherokees are not popular in rap songs.
Mapping the next big one in real time. CHKwpEIU0AA6OBC
Cleveland Police Department goes back to basics.
Pay your respects to the creator of the Dingbats font.
Who has broadband and who doesn’t — all in one map.
Haters gonna hate on Iggy Azalea.
Charlotte’s Web and James and the Giant Peach is required reading for one UT class.
Coyotes face off versus City of Glendale.
Voicemail is dying.
I’m Rich —New Minimum Wage in LA.
Utility companies hate solar.

Sign of the Times


June 9

Local Government One-Liners

Do You Want to Rock Right Now?


Define “Amphibious”


Silicon Valley

Hat tip to Glen who tipped me (us) off on the television show “Silicon Valley” on HBO. The Wyatt household does not have cable but we have live HBO streaming. I spend my 4:00 a.m. hour watching the show on my iPad with the volume turned low as not to wake the kids. Unfortunately, my time is limited before the kids wake and take the iPad (similar to the big piece of chicken) from me. I am sure they’ll make it up on Father’s Day.


To graduate the UNC MPA program, we were required to write a five-page paper, double spaced. That’s all five-page and none of this small font and weird margins. I felt as lucky as I did when I learned I didn’t have to take a foreign language for my undergraduate degree. I write all this because of this article — How long is the average dissertation? — that I came across recently.
Long live five-page papers and no foreign language requirement!

June 7

David Hasselhoff Loves All Male Panels

It’s true. I am a 37-year old white male. You may remember that I used to be a 36-year old white male. That said, I’ve attended plenty of conferences that are chock full of all white male panel discussions. I thought this might be a local government thing but I was wrong. Hat tip to Erin Eckert for tweeting all my new favorite TumblrAll Male Panels.


Softball Guy

The World Wide Web was abuzz this year with Gov. Christie’s tight fitting uniform which shows women are not the only ones chastised for their outfits.


Local Government One-Liners

Rock the Vote….San Fran voters to decide on future of development.
Detroit gets a “Hail Mary” from one of its citizens.
Drug dealers meet their match in small town sheriff.
Virginia is for lovers/mathematicians.
Have a Nice Day! We escaped from jail.
The stinky kid in class is also in your city.
Don’t drink coffee when you wake up.

June 5

“Fart” Tax

The government isn’t the only one that seemingly has a tax for everything. This week we learned about the Denver Broncos “fart” tax. Here’s how one player plans on avoiding the tax,
“I’m going to be a whole lot better with nutrition and conditioning than I was last year,” Miller told “I was in a great place last year, and hopefully I’m going to be in a whole lot better place this year.”
While we have your attention about the NFL and the human body, here’s a fascinating story on what happens when you retire from the NFL and shows how some people struggle to gain weight no matter what they do.

Head in the Gutter

Since you’re head is in the gutter from the previous two articles, we bring you a story on UK town considering hiring a dog poo “investigator.” Unfortunately I can’t take credit for finding this one. Hat tip (H/T) to Patrick Rollens.

June 4

Reno 9-1-1

It’s not been a good year for police departments. The Oregonian piles on, not with an article on Ferguson or Baltimore, but the madhouse that was the Cornelius, OR Police Department. The article’s title says it all – Gambling, yelling and a police department in disarray: How the chief lost his job.

Prison = Bad News

Since I know many of you have been pondering an extended stay at a local jail or Federal penitentiary, I will attempt to scare you straight with this former College Football Star’s Letters from prison. A few highlights/low lights:

We are on lock down at this time due to a murder and the stabbing of five other dudes.

We are still today on lock down due to some stabbings and assaults between black and white inmates. It has been ongoing for sometime.

Well there is not much happening here. We are still on lock down because they found a hacksaw in someone’s cell. Apparently people use the saw to cut up the bunks and make knives. It is completely nuts in here. It is pretty much a free for all.

When I refer to prison lawyers, I am referring to guys who have been incarcerated for 20-30 years and have been in the courts for most of those years. They pretty much have a top notch legal education.


Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

June 3

First of the Month

While its technically not the first day of June, we make an exception in order to bring you one of our favorites.

Homework Assignment

Sam Anselm, Joplin, MO, has a homework assignment for you. 1) Watch this video; 2) draw in this box; 3) submit design to your favorite  official.


It’s Back

Sarah Baker, Wake County, NC, submitted her entry for #CubesOfELGL. Check out the rest of the luxurious work spaces of ELGL members.

Now Hiring

We’ve always wanted to visit Madison, WI especially after Wisconsin choked versus Dook in the national championship game. We’d welcome the opportunity to share with Bo Ryan the month-long depression the loss sent us into. Since that scenario is unlikely, you might consider applying for Equity Coordinator position in Madison. Dook grads should probably not apply.

Another Reason to Root for the Warriors

I can’t stomach Lebron winning the NBA championship (and neither can you, right?) so we present another reason to root for the Warriors. Read this story about Warriors head coach Steve Kerr and how we dealt with the loss of his father.
My memory of Steve Kerr is this:

I prefer to forget when Arizona beat UNC in the NCAA tournament in 1989. Horrible officiating!

What Else You Should Be Reading

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